I have loved reading everyone’s stories! It always brings such perspective that we are all coming from so many different back grounds. It gives new respect for what everyone has gone through and what they have accomplished. I guess it is now my turn.
I actually found this journal which I started in 2003…
I have struggled with the frustrations of the effects of a hormonal birth control shot, Depro Provera. I wish I knew then what I know now. My hope and wish is for all women looking into this method of medication and birth control to know the changes and struggles that may occur (and often do) as results from this shot.
I have had a history of ovarian cysts that I have struggled with most of my life (since 5th grade). Just over four years ago I was preparing for my wedding when I started having problems again. With already having 3 emergency surgeries due to the same problem I knew what was coming next. The pain had become so intense that during my next cycle I would have to have the cyst removed or run the risk of it rupturing. This was to land on the week of my wedding. I obviously could not have surgery that week. We did not want to postpone the wedding any further and sure were not ready for it to be earlier. So with the invitations already printed we decided to keep our wedding date and look into birth control.
I had taken pill forms of birth control in high school to help with cysts and knew that I would get the depression that came with it. The doctors decided that the 3 month shot, Depro Prover, was the best for me. After long talks with my now husband, and some hesitation on my part, we decided to go through with it. Knowing that it was for three months and there was no turning back. That I was going to get depressed and it was to be a challenge.
Of course no one ever told me how bad it could be. I have always been chemically sensitive so I always look at the side effects on any drug; unfortunately, expecting to have most of them to occur. Provera mentioned: depression, hair loss, weight gain (maybe only about five pounds per month), and spotting.
In my opinion it’s the shot from heck! I have hated it and seemed not to be able to let go of my angry/frustration. I have learned a tremendous amount through all of this (which I could have lived without but am grateful to have experienced and learned) but can not quite let it go without knowing that I have done something to let women know the ‘real’ side effects.
… Now I will continue. Yes the shot was horrible. I look back at this and can honestly say I have let the frustration and angry go. I have come so far and learned so much. I am grateful for the experience. If I had not taken it I would have never been able to help women thus far who have had the same issues. I would have never met Danny and thus none of you! :oD I am so glad I did.
Long story short, the shot screwed with my body. Not only did it cause horrible mood swings, but the cyst returned two months after our wedding. While in surgery to remove it, the doctors discovered trace amounts of endometriosis (which had to have come from Provera). Thankfully, only a few pounds were gained during those three months and I still fit into my wedding dress for our wedding, Yea!
Two weeks later, while on our honeymoon I noticed my pants were fitting very snug. Coincidentally, it would have been the same time I would have taken another dose of Provera (as if!). Within that week and a half I gained 16 lbs!!!!! Within three months was 50lbs!! And within a year was probably closer to 80lbs.
I have always been a clean healthy eater and VERY active. However, when the weight started coming on nothing was helping. Obviously, married food of Rice-a-roni and mac and cheese didn’t help. But I was really trying all that I knew at the time and nothing was slowing the gain.
I struggled emotionally because I never wanted to be one who “let myself go” after marriage. I never wanted to seem as though I “caught my man” and now would just sit at home watching soaps while eating bonbons. I was mortified to have become the image of that person!
After facing many emotional issues with friends and with myself (see journal entry Groups and Stars), I slowly moved forward. We had our children and more health issue arose over time. I was pregnant, nursing or hemorrhaging (do to the issues) and was never quite in a position or felt well enough to work extra hard to lose the weight.
Once we knew we were done having our kids I had a hysterectomy. Once recovered, there were no excuses not work out.
I was still angry and still felt that through no fault of my own this weight was put on so why the heck did I have to be the one to take it off??! I knew this was wrong thinking but that’s how I felt. I knew that my next challenge in life was to learn how to over-come this, lose the weight and share my experience with others. As one of my favorite quotes states:
"Master."
"Yes Eragon?"
"Why must I endure this torture? You could use magic to give me the skills I need, to shape my body as you do the trees and plants."
"I could, but if I did, you would not understand how you got the body you had, your own abilities, nor how to maintain them. No shortcuts exist for the path you walk, Eragon."
There IS no easy path. I had to do this. I HAD to do this for myself as well as others. No one else should have to go through what I went thru. People would know!
I joined the gym and went almost every day but there were still not many changes to my body.
February 2010, I was vacuuming out the car when my back took the last straw and gave out (that’s a story in of its’ self). I found I had a torn and bulging disc. I was scared to do anything. Thus we sought out a personal trainer. Two different people referred Danny-J to me so I looked into it. It was the best thing I could have done!!!
I started with Danny last year in July. I was concerned that I would not be able to lose weight after the chemical had screwed with my body but with the right tools she guided me and I started losing rapidly. I COULD lose weight. I was so excited.
Come Sept my husband and I went on a 3 week vacation followed by Danny taking a 3 week vacation as well. Though I didn’t gain any weight, I didn’t lose much either. By the time she returned, I had lost my motivation.
When the middle of December came, Danny informed and incouraged me to join the Max Muscle competition. After a week of thinking about it I decided it was the motivation I needed. And the rest is history (or rather in my journals).
"Master."
"Yes Eragon?"
"Why must I endure this torture? You could use magic to give me the skills I need, to shape my body as you do the trees and plants."
"I could, but if I did, you would not understand how you got the body you had, your own abilities, nor how to maintain them. No shortcuts exist for the path you walk, Eragon."
I KNOW that through the experiences I have had thus far I will be able to maintain this lifestyle. I have struggled MANY times throughout this competition but I have learned so much. I am grateful that through those struggled I “understand how I got this body, my own abilities & how to maintain them.”
I have been able to share with those around me the tools needed to regain their life and control their bodies. I have taught my own children, to a farther extent, not only the importance of living healthy but HOW to live a well balanced healthy life.
I look forward to continuing to share with EVERYone: the struggles and trials I have faced. That women (& men) need to understand more fully the effects that drugs and hormones can have on their body. That not ALL weight gain is because of laziness. That with the correct tools weight loss and health is not only a hope but a REALITY!! We are making our reality! Never, NEVER GIVE UP!!!! |
