Emotionally Bad Day.

Food
Breakfast: french toast 3 whites, 1egg (okay, I won’t waste your time or mine anymore. I’m not going to put
the whites/egg thing anymore unless it is different. There.)
MM Liquid Carnitine 1tbs
Snack: berry protein shake, almonds
MM liquid Carnitine 1 tbs (to hopefully help me thru the day of cleaning 2 houses, homework, &
volunteering at the school), MM Omega 3 plus, Vit C, Bosewella (herbal anti-inflammatory for my back)
Multi-vit, glucosamine. I am skipping the MM glutamine, today, to see if that is what was causing the
upset stomach. I also added that sample of MM Pro BCAA to my shake. The powder tasted pretty good!
(though the after taste I could taste the sweetener) It gave my shake a kick!
Still don’t know what it actually does different than the other items but will look into it more...
I am so angry with myself right now….
Lunch: PB & honey sandwich. I ran outta bread last night and used hamburger buns. (1st mistake) I thought I
would give myself a treat and had a spoonful of Nutella. (I figured this was okay but now... it’s my 2nd
mistake). I had a protein shake to take but someone called and I had to run out sooner than expected
and forgot it (3rd mistake) Ahhh.
Snack: I was out and thought a war-wonton soup would be a nice change. It would have my fat from the
extra meats, protein, veggies and carb from the wontons (though they weren’t good carbs), plus very
filling. Of course they gave me the fried crispy strips. Not thinking…. “Oh I can have that as my fat and a
little extra carbs won’t hurt” Not even thinking of it being refined crap. (4th mistake) OR that I already
had figured in my fats (5th mistake). Ahhhhhh! Oh and go figure it upset my stomach.

There is NO way I can win this competition with that sort of crap! I don’t have great hopes of winning, now, anyway. I look at other women, at the gym, who are starting to show muscles and doing awesome workouts, then start to worry if they are competing as well. Do I have to go up against that person? There is no way!! They are sooo far ahead of me. I can’t change THAT much in such a short amount of time!!! Especially, my stomach area. I have soo much extra skin there. I won’t have the great abs they are looking for. They are going to want someone much more well toned. What was I thinking getting my hopes so high. I am so depressed and angry.

Dinner: I don’t want to eat. >:o(
Snack: same
Okay so I was too weak and hungry I figured I better eat something. I had a protein shake (they are really good with milk) and a bowl of cheerios. I better go to bed. I am ready for this day to be over.


Workout
~Stairs, 12min but I could not do the level 6, it was too much strain on my back. So I lowered the level way down but still was on the fat burner.

~Crunches 50 with legs raised. 25 leg raises. 25 twisted on each side (I hope that is okay with Dr. Leavitt. I will have to ask)

~Bike for about 10min.
We did legs with Kaysea & Lisa. Who showed up just as we were about to start and talked her into doing them with us. I was so excited to have her there!!! She is planning on coming on Tuesdays with us. :oD

~Circuit of leg presses. 120lbs, 25 reps. Followed by
~Lunges. 30 each leg. I don’t think I did that many the last set. :o/ Into
~Calf raises 30. 3 sets of all.

~Circuit of squats 15
~Leg extensions 50lbs, 15reps
~Hamstring curls 50lbs, 15reps. 3 sets

I didn’t know how to use the hamstring machine so I laughed and had to ask a older gentleman who was previously on it. Haha. Duh. I am always afraid of looking like one of those goofballs who don’t know what they are doing and won’t last a week. Arg. Oh well, comfort zone… there. Me…..here. I did have one younger guy watching what was going on while he rested between his sets and later when I switched legs he commented with a smile, “15reps? Good job.” He was sincere and in no way made me feel creepy. :oD
Now off to shower. Clean Adrianne’s house. Help at the school. Clean my house. Woohoo… I feel like I need to be doing more in order to get where I want. What can I do more? What should I be doing more?
Okay now this is is when I hit my wall and everything went down hill for the day.